Today my alarm went off at a horrifying 6:25 am. And after a weekend spent watching movies, loafing on my couch, and staying up way past my bedtime, it’s no surprise that I wanted to throw my pillow over my head and try to shut out the terrible beeping that now filled my dreamless head.
But alas, I sucked it up and dragged my sleep-deprived self out of bed. Sleep-walking through my morning routine, I pulled myself together slowly but deliberately, my mother’s words of “you’re on the market now, you should look good wherever you go” blasted into my head. Rolling my eyes at my never-good-enough reflection, I grab for my keys and clamber out the door, trying, but not succeeding, at making as little noise as possible as to not wake the roomies.
I am greeted by a stiff chill as I make my way down the quiet morning street. I file in next to my daily-passerby-companions. The girls coming back from 6 am yoga, the business men in pressed navy suits and starched white collars, the blonde valet boy on the corner I always smile at but get nothing in return. Good morning, friends.
The song on my phone changes beat and I glance up at the sky, suddenly filled with a sort of lightness that could only be labeled as happiness. The once dark and cold sky is now ablaze with blues and pinks from the rising sun. Good morning, sun.
I arrive at school after a long bus ride that was NOT filled with giggles and stolen glances because if you are keeping up, the cute boy on the bus is canceled and I am alone. The silent bus ride gives me time to look at the yellows, oranges, crimsons, and greens that fly by my bus window, painting my landscape, and making me smile again. Good morning, world.
After class, I am once again teleported back downtown, back to what seems more like real life. Except not today.
Today is a strange day, unlike others, because today, I am happy.
I am not happy because I got all the sleep in the world – because I am still sleep deprived.
I am not happy because it’s a good hair day – believe me, it’s not.
I am not happy because a boy smiled at me – because he did not.
I am not happy because of school – because I have no idea what I’m doing with my life in that corner of the room and honestly it freaks me out a lot.
I am happy because today I saw the sunrise, and my coffee tasted good, and the sun was shining in a way that made the gold leaves even more gold than I’ve ever seen before.
I am happy.