I’ve gone AWOL for a bit, it’s true.
Well, ladies and gents, it’s because I was in lOvE with the previously mentioned boy from the bus. Ha ha – I know what you’re thinking. You’ve known this boy for a total of a month and all of a sudden after sitting with him every morning and hanging out TWICE, you’re IN LOVE? Fake news.
And okay – I agree, I sound completely insane. But that’s kind of what crushes are for – aren’t they? They make you go insane for brief periods of time and are completely heart-wrenching and awesome at the same time. Right?
So basically the spark-notes of the spark-notes version of our love story goes like this:
Girl spots cute boy on bus. Girl fantasizes about cute boy for weeks. One day cute boy sits with girl. Boy and girl hit it off. Boy gives girl list of songs he likes. Girl gives her own list back. Boy gives girl little gifts every-now-and-then including but not limited to: a birthday note, a paper airplane made from a dollar bill, a couple of drawings, and some coffee grounds. And that’s where the good stops and the bad begins. And I’ll have you know right now, you don’t have to tell me that this whole situation already sounds like this boy is a life-ruiner, a heart-breaker, and a complete and utter ENIGMA– like what actual real-life boy does things like that?! And if you placed your bet on him being just that, congratulations, you’ve just won the grand prize.
This man was like a fictional character I had always dreamed about. Sometimes I feared that I had just made him up in my head because of the amount of boxes he was checking. He was everything – which sounds so STUPID (for lack of a better word) now that I think about it. I was so incredibly into this jackass I – okay wait. Let me finish the story so you understand fully.
Basically it ends like this: He came over after school one Wednesday afternoon and we had lunch and then decided to go for a walk. On our stroll, we got to the topic of miscommunications. Miscommunications and signs from the universe, and honestly it would’ve been a really good concrete conversation – until these words spilled out of his mouth in a jumbled, nervous rush: “Let’s just be friends.”
Taken aback, I stopped dead in my tracks. “Friends,” I ask? My voice breaking a little. Don’t you dare cry, I think to myself. Thus ensues the biggest eye roll of a conversation I think I’ve ever had the displeasure of having with someone, ever. He went on about how “we’re just too different” and “he’d end up breaking my heart anyway so why try?” and “I just don’t understand him in the way he needs” and lastly, the most I-wanna-bang-my-face-against-a-wall quote “I’m just an anomaly, Megan.”
Can you just picture this moment? I am standing there as this floppy-haired, green-eyed anomaly of a boy basically tells me that my brain just couldn’t possibly ever be on the same level as his (obviously) superior one. I don’t know if I’m the only one but honestly, my blood pressure is raising as we speak.
To be quite honest, this post has no purpose. Other than to just rant and to explain my brief hiatus from the blogging world – the blogosphere – if you will.
Anyway, after my day of wallowing in my own self-inflicted depression, I have since deleted all the songs he told me about, cried all my tears, and eaten all the ice cream in my fridge. I’ve done pretty much every cliché after-the-breakup move you can make, and I still don’t feel any better.
But alas, at the end of the day, I’ve reached a general decision:
I need to take a break from indie, floppy-haired, green-eyed boys.